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Vegas blues
Jun. 25th, 2001 06:12 pmI've had this little knot of worry building since last night. I woke several times from dreams. It was like the hotel room had a little anxiety closet that sprang open as soon as I closed my eyes. I woke from being chased by SEALs pretending to be seals (or sea-lions - their snorkels were disguised behind ears) at 3:30, and things progressed from there. My cats dying or neglected or gone...
And it didn't help that I was late, and went straight from the airport to work, and that little knot in the back of my head grew and sort of moved forward to the back of my throat - helped not at all by random Buffy stories by James and Mad Poetess. By the time it came to pack it in, my throat was closing, and I desperately needed the wall of my sunglasses for the bus ride home.
I'm home, and my fuzzies are fine, but I still want a hug. I should feel spoiled - going back to my parents for the weekend, and getting multiple daily hugs, but today I'm feeling the loss of a good, vicious snuggle. That little feminist bit of my brain always shouts: 'But you don't need a man, and it doesn't bloody matter - I want, and sometimes wanting hurts.
I'm avoid the onerous chore of email for a little while longer, and bills and the like can stuff themselves until I'm more emotionally coherent. I just can't decide if I want to read fanfic and go to bed early or just crash now and let sleep (and perhaps, a trio of purring cats) drive away the nightmares that kept me up.
And it didn't help that I was late, and went straight from the airport to work, and that little knot in the back of my head grew and sort of moved forward to the back of my throat - helped not at all by random Buffy stories by James and Mad Poetess. By the time it came to pack it in, my throat was closing, and I desperately needed the wall of my sunglasses for the bus ride home.
I'm home, and my fuzzies are fine, but I still want a hug. I should feel spoiled - going back to my parents for the weekend, and getting multiple daily hugs, but today I'm feeling the loss of a good, vicious snuggle. That little feminist bit of my brain always shouts: 'But you don't need a man, and it doesn't bloody matter - I want, and sometimes wanting hurts.
I'm avoid the onerous chore of email for a little while longer, and bills and the like can stuff themselves until I'm more emotionally coherent. I just can't decide if I want to read fanfic and go to bed early or just crash now and let sleep (and perhaps, a trio of purring cats) drive away the nightmares that kept me up.
