Escapade

Part of the reason I'm such a lurker on lists is that when the debate's going fast and furious, I don't chime in. I could, I suppose, but what's the use? I tend to mull over things - turn them over and over and let my subconscious munch on them, and a day or two after the dust is cleared, I've formed my opinion. I react, and feel, and then think about it, trying to see past that first emotional knee-jerk. And then it's anti-climatic, and everyone else has moved on.

So, first, the survey that was circulating just before the con:

Years in Fandom/Slash: 4/3
Years writing/writing Slash: 4/3
Fandoms read: untold numbers. I follow authors, then fandoms.
Fandoms written: 8. I think. That's counting the odd crossovers.
Broken down:
Lois&Clark: 5 solo, 25 or so IRC Round Robins
Due South: 18 slash
Sentinel: 2 gen
Highlander: 4
And of course, the assorted 'the hell is that?' crossovers.

So basically, I'm a pretty new fan, and I'm not terribly prolific, and I'm damn quiet on the few lists I'm on. If you want to remember who I am? I'm the one who jingles.

Con stuff:
I had a hard time deciding which panels to attend. There were so many, and with the meta-panels conflicting with the fandom panels, I didn't check out a lot of the fandom stuff that I'd normally want to at least look into, and then the techie panels were just too tempting at times. Alas. And in my absolute worst moment of the con (which, you know, will not require therapy on my part) was when I realized my train left about thirty minutes after the Blog/Livejournal panel started. And that's one I know I would have spoken up during.

Lovely thing, though, is that with all the con reports flying in blogs and LJs, I've got an idea of what was said, so I don't feel entirely left out. Yay!

Memorable, 'cause it was all good: Squicking ourselves in the 20 pairings panel. It started as a list of pairings that people thought should be written, but aren't, and then... degenerated. We had an entire board filled up (and I may have a list on my laptop somewhere) of some truly twisted pairings. I mean, really. Moya/Lexx? shipslash? KITT/KARR? Voldemort/Sauron? I think I pulled something in my brain.

The Aging of Fandom panel made me think the hardest. I mean, I've got three strikes against me: I came into fandom through the internet, I haven't been in fandom that long, and I'm chronologically pretty young. I don't identify with the old-timers - the ones who came in with Trek et al., I'm not always the same chron-age as people who are my fan-age, and those (like Ins) who've been in fandom since they were practically toddling, but are still chron-younger than me...

Well, ok, they all intimidate me, just in different ways. I think what frustrates me most is the assumptions that fly both ways. That, and the sense that the panel didn't really go anywhere. Rants were ranted, bitches were bitched, alot of it made sense and was aired and all that, but there wasn't (to me) any sense that somewhere, someone had a glimmer of a good idea about how to bridge the generation gaps. OK, picky, I know, that I wanted something to come of a discussion, but I'm difficult like that.

It wasn't until Sunday, when I was helping set up the con suite for breakfast that I felt a little better about it. I knew, intellectually, that it wasn't all about me personally - so I was beating down my emotional reaction with a stick, and trying to convey a little of my frustration with the fannish divide to those around me. Out of the panel, it was a little better. Out of the panel, it came down to the individual level, and really - what younger fans need to do more is simply ask. 'What's a fan pair?' 'Do you need help setting up?' That sort of thing.

For me, the former sort of question is harder - with my tendency to lurk, I don't think to ask about details like that. The second is now a programmed response, thanks to the SCA. snort